Over this last fortnight, which just so happened to align with the Autumn equinox period, I’ve taken some time to reflect and consider how we evolve through different stages of our lives. What was once fun just doesn’t have the same buzz after a while. And do you know what? That’s ok! Actually it’s more that’s ok! It’s pretty dam good.
In the search for happiness (which when reminded I know is always waiting within we can find ourselves looking in familiar places and situations. Forgetting they are no longer serving us. Usually because we have not taken the time to reflect and ask does this action serve my personal growth? My goals? My dreams?
Whilst pondering on the ways I used to seek fun I noticed some parts of socialising had became a way to verify my self-worth. How many times we laughed was a measure of how fun I was. How good I felt and looked when out partying would set the tone for every encounter with the mirror until the next night out. And finally the worst of all, what others and I talked about allowed me to think about how I was doing in comparison to others. How toxic yet how ‘normal’ can you get!
So I asked myself what do I prefer to do now? Right now it’s meet up and catch up on daily life with good people. Those that add nourishment and wisdom to life, positively and supportively talking together about challenges, goals and dreams. In fact this week I’ve planned some fun watching a film with couple of close friends and my daughter – all of us lying on her bed watching a film and getting told off by her for talking!
This is what currently brings me joy. The simple stuff. When you make time for it, you can do find it every day. Take a moment, build in a ritual that brings you joy, using favourite soaps, singing your favourite songs, doing a good deed for others, playing with the dog, whatever it is. Stop and enjoy the moment.
My challenge to you today is to reflect on what you currently believe brings you joy and give it an honest score from 1-10 (10 being awesome) and then repeat in a couple of months to check you’re getting enough of the good stuff and eliminating that which no longer serves you.
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Procrastination and beyond…
I found this nearly completed blog that I had written earlier this year… and was pleased with myself as I noticed that whilst it was still in the procrastination zone it was closer to getting published then the ones in my notebook (oh it’s good I can make myself giggle) Here we go to the ‘done it zone’ or ‘procrastination and beyond zone’.
So here I am feeling tired, sad & my negative chatter has taken over. It’s that bad I refuse to give it anymore mind space. I making good of it and utting it in this blog.…I’ve tried to blame it on my hormones and the full moon yet I know whilst that may play a part the only way forward is to take back control and responsibility. As I say to many of my clients “you and you alone think in your head”, along with “be kind to yourself”. I’m doing both and accept that parts of the last few days as glitches!
I’ve congratulated myself on noticing how I am feeling, accepting it as just that – ‘feelings’. Knowing that they will stay as long as I keep re-triggering the thoughts (ermm another blog “keeping your finger on your crumple button”). Reminding myself, they will also pass when I choose to let them go.
Reflecting on the whole processes I again say well done as I have been able to ask for help, receive random acts of kindness, recognise the root cause of my distress and do something helpful about it. Yes, I am walking my talk as I know even when you’re a coach life is not perfect. Which I am glad of as if it was perfect what would I have to learn? Learning is something that brings me joy!
Why am I telling you this… well I want to share with you the techniques I am following to get me back on track and stop the procrastination. Also by sharing this I am giving also giving you permission to keep me accountable for continued action.
The techniques from Dr. Wayne W. Dyer for ousting this postponing behaviour (the words in bold are the ones that shout out to me). I hope you find them useful:
- Make a decision to live five minutes at a time. Instead of thinking of tasks in long-range terms, think about now and try to use up a five-minute period doing what you want, refusing to put off anything that would bring satisfaction.
- Ask yourself, “What is the worst things that could happen to me if I did what I’m putting off right now?”The answer is usually so insignificant that it may jar you into action. Assess your fear and you’ll have no reason to hang onto it.
- Think of yourself as too significant to live with anxiety about the things you have to do. So, the next time you know you are uncomfortable with postponement anxiety, remember that people who love themselves don’t hurt themselves that way.
- Be courageous about undertaking an activity that you’ve been avoiding. One act of courage can eliminate all that fear.Stop telling yourself that you must perform well. Remind yourself that doing it is far more important.
- Decide not to be tired until the moment before you get into bed. Don’t allow yourself to use fatigue or illness as an escape or to put off doing anything. You may find that when you take away the reason for the illness or exhaustion – that is, avoidance of a task – physical problems “magically” disappear.
- Look hard at your life. Are you doing what you’d choose to be doing if you knew you had six months to live? If not, you’d better begin doing it because relatively speaking, that’s all you have. Given the eternity of time, thirty years or six months makes no difference. Your total lifetime is a mere speck. Delaying anything makes no sense.
If you want the world to change, don’t complain about it. Do something. Rather than using up your present moments with all kinds of immobilizing anxiety over what you are putting off, take charge of this nasty erroneous zone and live now! Be a doer, not a hoper a wisher or a critic.
Dr Wayne. W Dyer
Thank you Dr Wayne Dyer your words of wisdom I borrow with pride. From my loving heart to yours… Be your best you. Everyone else is taken.
Love Nicky xxx
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